He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
