Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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