So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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