I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I understand Curling. That high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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