So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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