i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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