A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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