You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
