rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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