He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
