Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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