Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
