Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I love you.
Bad choice
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
