I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
