I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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