How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
