I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
