Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
