I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
two words: eviction party
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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