If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
