Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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