with your own penis?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
