The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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