I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
