i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
