I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
