Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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