good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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