Your tits are I can't wait for
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
