then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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