Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
