operation harelip BJ is a go
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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