Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
