his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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