I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
