What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
