Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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