I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
