Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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