chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
