i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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