This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
