"it" just moved
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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