he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
