Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
