Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
