you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
