Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
