i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
