There is no way he is gay with that hair.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
