just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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