You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
