so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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