i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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