I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i believe in u and ur pee
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
