i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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