So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
